


so it's gonna be forever (or it's gonna go down in flames)

by coalitiongirl_ficlets (coalitiongirl)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Swan Queen Week, Swan Queen Week Summer 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4348537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coalitiongirl/pseuds/coalitiongirl_ficlets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for mistaken for a couple day of Swan Queen Week. </p><p>In her ongoing quest to take everything Regina has, Zelena sets her sights on Regina's true love- whom she decides <i>must</i> be Emma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so it's gonna be forever (or it's gonna go down in flames)

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place presumably after the whole Dark One threat. No Hook, no Hood, no one cares.
> 
> This is a fic that got too long for tumblr, but quality-wise (how much editing and revising I put into it, aka none at all) I think it still ranks as a tumblr fic so I've marked it accordingly. Anyway, my point is that it's new even though it's under this pseud! Cheers!

It begins with a fairly innocuous comment. “Do you work out?” Zelena says from where she’s sitting beside Emma on the couch. This whole _reintroducing Zelena to society to see if she’s capable of overcoming her homicidal instincts_ bit is off to a good start. Henry sits beside Regina and Emma is doing her best to appear friendly to Zelena.

 

(They’d argued back and forth about it. _She killed Neal!_ Emma had protested. _She nearly killed you. She would have killed Marian if we hadn’t caught her just in time._ But Regina had been stubborn about giving her a chance– after Regina herself had been given one, and now she needs to pay that forward– and Emma had folded at the first sign of sincerity from her. Regina had filed away _that_ trick for future reference.)

 

Emma looks vaguely pleased at the inquiry. “Uh, yeah, I do. A few times a day, usually. Why? You looking for a gym?” 

 

“Oh, no. I don’t do…that sort of thing.” There’s a hint of disdain in her voice, and Regina eyes her with caution before Zelena brightens again. “I was just wondering how you got arms like _that_.” She reaches out to stroke one bicep over Emma’s shirt. “So strong,” she coos, and Regina sits forward, her mouth opening and closing slightly. Emma is staring at Zelena as though she’s a recently arrived demon from the depths of hell.

 

Zelena continues to run her fingers over Emma’s arm, and Regina fights the urge to shove her off the couch and back to the asylum. Not that she’s…possessive. Just concerned for a friend. 

 

A friend who is currently gaping at Zelena as Zelena bats her eyes at her. “We should spend time together, just the two of us. You can show me what it is you can do with those arms.”

 

Emma bolts like a spooked animal. “I…have to…I need a drink,” she sputters, and runs to the kitchen.

 

Regina makes an excuse and follows, grabbing Emma by the wrist and yanking her into the study instead. She slams the door and Emma says in an unnaturally high tone, “I really don’t need any more Mills women touching me right now, thanks.” 

 

Regina drops her wrist and Emma licks her lips and takes Regina’s hand in apology. “Kidding. That was a…oh god, is she just screwing with us?” 

 

“She seems…sincere,” Regina allows. Zelena really has been on her best behavior for weeks now, sullen but receptive, and Regina’s learned how to detect when she’s lying. “She really must be interested in you.” And she has to push through the fog that is her mind when even considering the thought of it to say, “You have to reciprocate.” 

 

“What?” Emma demands, a look of horror crossing her face. “You want me to… _what_?” 

 

“Go out with her.” Regina lowers her voice, piecing it all together. “Zelena’s finally starting to adjust to this lifestyle, and I think it’d be good for her to be around you. You’ve been a great help to me,” she admits, and Emma’s face rearranges itself until her eyes are soft enough that Regina’s stomach twists in response. She collects her feelings and doles out a half-mocking, “And besides, you as the most recent villain can connect to her best.” 

 

Emma rolls her eyes, the softness fading into goodnatured challenge. “Which means I have to date her? If you were the most recent team villain, what would you do?” 

 

“I don’t date redheads.” Regina gestures out at Zelena, who’s sitting on the couch and animatedly listening to Henry as he speaks. “Is she not reasonably attractive?”

 

Emma shrugs. “In a strangle-you-in-your-sleep kind of way.”

 

“So don’t sleep with her. Just…give her a distraction, at least.” Regina sits, feeling the exhaustion of the past few days of babysitting Zelena weighing down on her. Emma’s hand settles awkwardly onto her shoulder, hovering and touching and then hovering again. “I think if she’s trapped in this house for too long, spending time only with me, she might start hating me again.” 

 

“And you don’t want that.” Emma’s voice sounds strained, and when Regina looks up, it’s into her cloudy gaze. She hesitates, meeting it with a pleading smile, and  Emma melts again. “Okay,” she whispers, and she brushes aside a wisp of hair from Regina’s neck as her hand settles down at last.

 

* * *

 

Regina’s expecting it when Zelena steals one of her dresses and comes striding down the stairs that evening, but it’s no less enraging. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” 

 

“I have a date. With Emma Swan.” Zelena smirks– _smirks!_ – at her as though she hadn’t approved the whole thing.

 

Still, though, she has appearances to keep up. Zelena is always more enthusiastic about the things that infuriate her, and for some reason, it’s extra easy to muster up the outrage about _this_. “You went out for coffee yesterday. Isn’t it a bit soon for another date?” 

 

Zelena smiles like the cat that got the cream. “Oh, we really like each other. You like it when Emma’s happy, don’t you, sis?” 

 

An instant of doubt. She hasn’t spoken to Emma since yesterday, and her query then about the date had been returned with a thumbs-up emoji. Maybe Emma really _had_ hit it off with Zelena. Maybe this second date had been Emma’s idea.

 

She texts her the moment that Zelena sails out the door. _Another date?_

 

Emma’s response is nearly instantaneous. _I’m a hit with the ladies._

 

_You’ll be a hit with the cars, too, if you don’t stop texting while driving_ , she texts back in a huff. She’s cranky and restless for minutes, pacing as she waits for another text, and she’s half considering enchanting her mirror to keep an eye on them before the next message pops up. 

 

_That dress looked better on you._

 

Regina flushes and heads upstairs to check on Henry, appeased for the time being.

 

She’s less appeased when she hears voices outside an hour after Henry’s bedtime, and hurries downstairs to chastise them. She opens the door on Emma and Zelena both talking too loudly and Emma laughing like she’s had a bit too much to drink. “Keep it down!” she hisses. “You’re going to wake Henry up.” 

 

“Sorry,” Zelena slurs, sounding not sorry at all. The ends of her lips curl up into a smile. “How about a goodnight kiss, pet?” 

 

Emma laughs and lurches forward, catching Regina around the waist. Regina says, “I’ll drive you home,” and guides her down the stairs to her car.

 

“I wanted the kiss,” Emma whines once they’re in the car, angling closer to Regina and puckering up.

 

“Wrong sister,” Regina says tightly. “You really are dating Zelena now, aren’t you?” 

 

“I don’t mind spending time with her when we’re both drunk,” Emma says, reflective in that special way that only the very inebriated can get. Regina drives faster. “Mostly we just talk about you. I like that in a person.”

 

“Flattering.” Emma’s hand is sliding to Regina's thigh, patting the material of her pants, and Regina swats it away. “How drunk did she get you? Did you just spend the whole night drinking and maligning me?” 

 

“Maligning,” Emma repeats, giggling madly for a moment. “I think we made it through a whole bottle of wine on what color your eyes are.” 

 

“Brown?” 

 

“There’s…like…” Regina parks just in time for Emma to attempt to poke out her eyes. Or just touch them. Her eyes flutter shut as Emma traces her eyelids. “Copper in them. They’re shiny. Zelena’s _so_ obsessed with you. Hating you. You in general.” Emma scowls. “At least I’ve never tried to kill you.” 

 

“That’s why you’re my favorite. Of the two of you,” Regina says hastily. “You win all the competitions against Zelena.” 

 

She helps Emma to a stand and leads her upstairs, unlocking Snow’s apartment door with a wave of her hand. Emma leans heavily on her as Regina walks her up to her room. “You tried to kill me lots of times,” Emma confides in a loud whisper. “But you’re my favorite, too.” 

 

Emma’s drunken assurance shouldn’t appease Regina this much, and yet…

 

And yet.

 

* * *

 

“Are you really okay with Ma and Zelena?” Henry wants to know the next day. They’re all at Granny’s together, Zelena and Emma taking their order while Regina sits rigidly opposite them. At least Emma looks just as uncomfortable at the counter with Zelena’s arms draped around her. 

 

“I’m the one who suggested it,” she says, tearing her eyes away from them. “Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?” 

 

“Well, you know. The whole…Ma-and-you thing,” he says vaguely, and she’s about to ask him what he means when Zelena prances back to the table, her fingers wrapped around Emma’s as Emma trails behind. “Our food is on its way,” she announces, twisting to beam at Emma. “Isn’t that right, honey bear?” 

 

“Hon…honey…h-h-“ Emma sputters, her face a deathly white. 

 

“Like your hair! Beautiful and golden, just like honey.” Zelena wraps a lock of it around her finger, her eyes on Regina instead. “And you have the upper body strength of a bear.” She lowers her voice to a mock-whisper, loud in Emma’s ear. “Maybe soon we’ll see about your lower-body strength.” 

 

They’re both staring at Regina, Zelena with hunger and Emma desperately uncomfortable, and Regina says sharply, “Henry’s right _here_. Tone it down or you’re not going out at all tonight.” 

 

Emma breathes with relief. Zelena says, unperturbed, “Third date tonight,” and she waggles her eyebrows at Regina again. Emma shoots Regina a look of despair.

 

“Better stock up on that wine,” Regina says blandly, and mentally shoves a path between the equal parts frustration and spite swirling around in her mind right now. 

 

* * *

 

“Do you even like her when you’re both not drunk?” Regina demands. She doesn’t know if she wants the answer, wants to know about…whatever it is they have. 

 

Emma sighs into her phone. “Regina, I’m going out with her because you asked me to. I don’t dislike her as much as I thought I would. We have some things in common.” _Mostly we just talk about you_ , Emma had said the other night. “But am I romantically interested in her?” There’s a pause and Regina’s fingers dig into her chair, deep enough to tear. “Honestly, I’d rather be kicking your ass at Scrabble right now with Henry.” 

 

Regina exhales a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. “Look, if you don’t want to go out with her anymore–“

 

“Regina,” Emma says gently. “I’m not _sleeping_ with your sister tonight. You don’t have to get overprotective of her again now.” 

 

“I’m not…” There’s a flash of green and orange outside the study door. “I have to go.” She slams the phone down just as Zelena enters the room. 

 

Zelena whirls around, a vision in green. This dress isn’t Regina’s, and Regina eyes it with suspicion. “What do you think?” Zelena asks, swiveling her hips. “Is this the sort of dress that would have Emma want to peel it off of me?” 

 

Regina’s hands hit her desk with a bang. “Okay, Zelena,” she says. “What’s your game?” 

 

“Oh, sis. I was so waiting for this moment.” She twirls again, eyes bright with malice, and whatever simpering lovestruck act she’d been putting on vanishes. “What tipped you off? I thought you’d never guess.” 

 

“You called Emma _honey bear_. Even useless long-lost Millses have standards.” Regina rubs her temples. “Why are you doing this, Zelena? What’s in it for you?” 

 

Zelena plops down on the couch, smug. “I’m just keeping my promise to you. I said I’d take everything you ever had from you, and I meant it. This… _thing_ –“ She jerks her hand up to display the cuff on her wrist. “Can’t stop me from taking your true love.” 

 

Which all sounds very nefarious, but it doesn’t make _sense_. “So…you’re trying to _marry_ Emma and be Henry’s mother? You don’t know much about legal rights in the Land Without Magic, do you?” 

 

Zelena’s lip curls in disgust. “Oh, you are daft. Much dafter than even I had thought– and believe me, I thought you were extraordinarily so. Henry has nothing to do with my plans.” Her eyes soften about a hair. Regina smiles internally. Henry's extraordinary gift of winning over villains is at it again. “I’m going to break your heart. I’m going to make Emma _mine_.”

 

Ah. Comprehension at last. “You think…” Regina speaks slowly, her brow furrowing and a twitch in her chest. “There’s just one problem with your big plot. Emma and I aren’t in love.” 

 

“Nice try,” Zelena scoffs. “I see how you look at each other. Both of you so besotted, both of you too frightened to make a move. And now you’ll suffer for it.” The doorbell rings, and she rises. “So?” Her eyes are gleaming bright in the dimly lit room. “How do I look?” 

 

“Like a overgrown child with delusions of grandeur.” 

 

“ _Perfect._ ” Zelena floats out of the room with a jaunty wave. Regina watches her go, her final words drawing Regina in like quicksand. 

 

* * *

 

_Regina_. Emma’s voice had sounded strained on the phone. _Regina, I need you right now._

 

She doesn’t want to expect the worst– Zelena can’t do magic anymore and Emma’s more than capable of taking her on– but she knows better than to underestimate her sister, and she drives swiftly toward the place Emma had indicated on the phone.

 

Emma’s waiting outside the car, shifting from foot to foot. “I locked her in. I’m not sure if it worked.” Her face is drawn and pale. “I didn’t know what else to do, she just…” She covers her face. “I didn’t know.” 

 

“What did she do?” Regina demands, a fireball springing to life. Emma shakes her head soundlessly, pointing into the car.

 

Regina peers into the front passenger seat window. Zelena sneers up at her, sullen and hurt and…without a stitch of clothing on. “What the hell?” 

 

Emma winces. “She asked if we could drive out here, so I said yes, and then she just…yanked everything off. I’m not cut out for this.” 

 

“A naked girlfriend?”

 

“A _fake_ naked girlfriend who would probably kill me for rejecting her.” Zelena _is_ beginning to look mildly homicidal. Emma bites her lip. “I can’t sleep with her under false pretenses, Regina. I want out of this mess.” 

 

“Okay,” Regina agrees readily, but she’s watching Zelena now, watching the hollowness in her gaze as she stares out the window. Whatever plans she’d had for Emma, she _had_ thought Emma had wanted her, and Zelena’s always reacted badly to being unwanted.

 

And as easy as it would be to out them both as lying and laugh the whole thing off, Regina is still afflicted by an uncomfortable feeling of compassion for her sister. And she knows that there’s only one reason that Zelena would ever accept for Emma rejecting her.

 

She flicks her hand at the car and yanks open the door. “You were right,” she concedes to Zelena. Zelena gapes up at her. Regina glances at Emma, who’s staring at them without comprehension. “Emma can’t be with you because we’re in love.” 

 

“ _What_?” Emma blurts out. 

 

Zelena glares up at her. “You missed your chance.”

 

“No.” She pulls Emma to her in a dramatic motion. “See, I’ve been… _excruciatingly jealous_ of the two of you.” That has Zelena brightening. Emma’s watching her in disbelief, a flicker of something else shining in her eyes. “And I so I put a spell on Emma. She’ll never be able to be with you again. She’s _mine_.” 

 

The kiss is less planned as much as the only possible next step, and she puts her all into it, feeling Emma sway into her and her hands land on Regina’s hips. Her lips are soft and her tongue insistent as she swipes her way into Regina’s mouth, and Regina shuts her eyes and forgets for a long moment that this is all an act.

 

She breaks free from Emma only once she’s breathless and Emma is still holding her close, watching her in disbelief. Zelena laughs mockingly and Regina nearly jumps, remembering her presence. “God, you’re pathetic. I don’t want Emma, anyway.” 

 

“Hey!” But Emma’s eyes haven’t left Regina’s face.

 

Zelena, meanwhile, seems to have recovered from her hurt and found snideness instead. “Have fun being saddled with an inferior model, sis.” But there is longing in her face directed at both of them, and she hasn’t tried to kill anyone yet. So…progress.

 

“You know, I could set you up with one of my deputies,” Emma offers, her hand still stroking Regina’s waist absentmindedly. “Marian’s single and she’s pretty forgiving about murder attempts when you bring her coffee.” She tosses a sly grin at Regina, who’s successfully earned Marian’s forgiveness with just that.

 

Zelena rolls her eyes, but she does offer a grudging, “Maybe,” before she tugs her dress back over her head. Emma tilts her head unconsciously, watching Zelena's body arch as she pulls it on, and Regina smacks her side. Zelena smirks. “Send me home, sis. I swear I won’t break anything.”

 

Which is probably a lie or Zelena wouldn’t have brought it up at all, but better breaking things than people. She’ll get there someday.

 

Emma’s still running her fingers over Regina’s side as Regina sends Zelena home in a cloud of smoke, and she says timidly, “We’re in love?” 

 

“Oh.” Regina flushes. “I didn’t think Zelena would accept any other kind of rejection.”

 

“So that was an act.” Emma’s fingers brush against bare skin and Regina can almost hear her deflate. “The kissing, too?” 

 

“It seemed like the thing to do at the time,” Regina says, flustered. Which is ridiculous. She’s a _queen_ , she doesn’t get flustered at kisses or fake relationships with her…co-mother. Best friend. _Something_. 

 

 _ (Both of you so besotted, both of you too frightened to make a move.) _   


 

“Mm,” Emma hums. “Okay.” 

 

Inexplicable disappointment. “Okay?” 

 

“Okay,” Emma confirms. She’s quiet for a moment, her eyes dancing, and then she says, “But, y’know, we can’t let Zelena down. She’ll be so upset if we don’t make it.”

 

Regina catches Emma’s thread like it’s a lifeline she hadn’t known she’d needed. “You want to pretend to be in love.” 

 

“Pretend,” Emma echoes. “Sure.”

 

“Maybe for a little while,” Regina agrees hastily. “A few weeks…” 

 

“A month or two. Gotta keep it convincing for as long as it takes. Maybe a year. Maybe the rest of our lives,” Emma says lightly, and Regina snickers (joke, right? just a joke, like the two of them being hopelessly in love) and ducks into the car, her heart thumping happily in time with her laugh.


End file.
